I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
