last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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