The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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