If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
