During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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