i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
