I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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