so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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