It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
