Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
