why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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