U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're a waste of cheezeits
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize