you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
