a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize