it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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