do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
