Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize