There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
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I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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