There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
