I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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