my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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