I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
