He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
