just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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