When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
