Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
