He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
