We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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