Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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