Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
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I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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