you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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