Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
