Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize