when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
