what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
