i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize