Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have demons in me.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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