just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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