Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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