And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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