The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw a hot homeless man
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just found puke in my bra..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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