I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
