I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
