what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize