Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
