just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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