I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
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We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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