Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
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