Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
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So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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