He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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