Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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