Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
