whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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