i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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