We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
