People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
