is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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