She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
