Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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