You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
