Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
