It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
