DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize