So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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