Duck Duck Cougar?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
