I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
